Friday, January 25, 2013

According to Olivia

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be sitting here before you getting ready to tell you this.  

You see, I wanted at least one girl.  If God would just bless me with one girl I would be happy, happy, happy (couldn't resist).  Well, because my mom started praying for me to have girls since I turned 15 it is clear she has a direct line on these matters, since I now have 3 girls.  FYI, she now prays daily to see them all into their teens.  Anyway, I knew I would dress up this sweet girl, put piggy tails in her hair, take her shopping, get our nails done, you get it.

Insert Man.  Man is a hunter.  My baby girl has had some form of camo at every age.  Clearly not purchased by me.  Although I have offered to monogram here initials in hunter orange, only to be shut down.  I was just trying to be supportive.  Baby girl has been groomed for hunting for quite some time, learning calls of all sorts of animals, setting up cameras, learning animal tracks, pitching ground covers tents, and who knows what else.  I stay home and cook breakfast...or dinner.  Just depends.  So, it came as no surprise that her only Christmas request this year was a bow.  A bow?  I am like, "For your hair?"  She rolled her eyes and said, "I am going to talk to Daddy about this."  And she did.  I was given the information on the selected bow and sent to the computer.  I ordered this thing before any other gift.  Guess what?  Apparently Brave and The Hunger Games created a bow buying craze.  Very long story short.  We didn't have a bow for Christmas.  

Some not so kind emails later and a third order through a new company and Olivia's bow was on the way.  It arrived on MLK day...the UPS man always comes through.  Praise the Lord.  Man said she assaulted him.  I might need to leave him a treat on the doorstep this week.  Yes, he comes weekly.  I live in the middle of nowhere, that is only 30 minutes from the beach.  Anyway, she would sleep with the bow if we let her.  We can't do that because they might think that was child endangerment.  So she settles for every other minute of the day.  Like when I sent them outside to play, before I went nuts the other day, and I could hardly get out of the door and she has the entire set-up going full force.  When she sees me with my camera she is so excited and says, "Momma, take my picture showing you each step of shooting a bow."  So, without further ado (aren't you glad for the entire background of this moment?) here it is...

How to Shoot a Bow...According to Olivia

Step 1 : Pull Arrow Out of Canister 
(Sorry I do not know the official name of that thing.  Please don't tell her.)

Step 2:  Pull Arrow Back

Step 3: Release Arrow

Step 4: Pose With Your Shot 
(Swear it.  She really said this.  I thought I would pee in my pants.)

I hope you took notes.  There might be a quiz.  This is Olivia we are talking about.  

Happy Friday!

--The Mama

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