Prince Charming

I was studiously sitting at the counter working on my computer when Addison hops onto the stool next to me.  She very seriously asked, "Mommy, do you have a Prince Charming?"  I responded, "Yes, Daddy is my Prince Charming!"  She has a puzzled look on her face and asked, "Mommy are you married to Daddy?"  "Yes!" I answer.

Then I turn to her and ask, "Addison, are you going to marry a Prince Charming?"  She very quickly responds, "Nooooo, Mama. I am going to marry Trynt."

Ahhhh, if it were only that easy...

I'm not too sure what my girl is going to do without her Trynt.  I hope these days pass slowly....

Platypus

I was bathing my beauties tonight when Addison so sweetly leaned over and gave Olivia "sugars" (A.K.A. a kiss).  

Olivia quickly rejects this lovin' and Addison's feelings are hurt.  Now, usually I would say, "Addison just leave her alone."  This would be me trying to avoid World War III in the tub, filled with water, that has a metal cutting device that dispenses liquid, that is surrounded by slippery cold tile.  Maybe I was really trying to avoid screaming, whining, murder worthy squeals, and my personal favorite, "Don't touch me!"  So, I decided some reverse psychology was in order for my brilliant 6 year old.  

I said to Addison, "Oh give her more Addison!  She needs some sweetness injected in her, she is a sour puss."  

Everything goes still.  Olivia looks at me and says, "What is a sour puss?"  I give her me best kindergarten explanation, which she excepts.  And then I get Addison to proceed with more "sugars".  After one or two more Olivia declares, with a huge smile, "Ok, ok, I am happy!"  That would be 1 for Mom and 0 for Olivia!  WOOHOO!

Olivia is laughing, Addison is laughing.  This is good.  Then Addison must have thought it was safe to give more "sugars" now so she proceeds to do so on Olivia's back.  I just keep singing, "Make her sweet, make her sweet."  At first, this was ok.  Then Olivia had enough and she said, "Stop Addison.  I don't want anymore!"  To which Addison so happily replied,  "Yes you do because you are still a platypus!"

Thought I would die.

Right there. 

I didn't correct her. 

I couldn't. 

Consider this your warning.

If you act like a sour puss, Addison will think you are a platypus.

She just might even tell you so.

Squats

I have been visiting my elliptical pretty regularly without a lot of results weight loss.  And then there is this part of my stomach that I pray for everyday...to go away.  And then there are these love handles that I have never had in my life....I pray for those too.  So, in addition to all of this praying I do over my fat I decided to enlist Man.  Remember, I did discuss this with him and it was #1 on the "This Year" List.  Keeping fit is part of Man's job.  It's like living with an expert I tell myself.  So, I broke down and asked for his help last night.  Oh, he was all over this.  Kind of like when you really want to say/do something and you won't, but when you are asked you jump on it like white on rice.  Yeah, that is kind of how he acted.  In the sweetest, kindest way, of course.

So here we are in our bedroom floor.  He holds baby and stands over me.  Maybe that was his way of not letting me hate every minute of this...  Anyway, he tells me we are going to do 5's???  I quickly learn that means 5 push-ups, 5 sit-ups, and 5 squats.  I think, "That's it?  I am going to transform with just 5?"  Then he finishes, "5 times."  Oh.  So we began with push ups.  I am a girl.  I do these on my knees...he looks at me like I have lost my mind.  When he sees I am for real he agrees.  We begin and I slowly bend my arms and come back up.  Apparently I am supposed to create at least a 90 degree angle, which he quickly has me show him and quickly fall to the ground.  He decides I can progress over time and let's me do them my way.  

We move onto sit-ups.  Clearly I can do a sit-up.  I tuck my little sneakers under the bed and cross my arms over my chest and up, goes 1.  Wait, wait, wait.  Apparently my fingertips came off of my shoulders.  Oh Lord.  What have I done.  I'll tell you what I did.  I hired Drill Sgt. Bouchard apparently.  

5 sit-ups later and we are on to squats.  Man patiently explains and shows me (with baby in arms) how to do the squat.  He says, and I quote, "Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, stick your butt out like you are peeing in the woods, bend your knees, and put your arms like this."  I am feeling pretty qualified now.  He explained it in girl terms.  So, I put my feet shoulder width apart, squat...like I would to pee in the woods, bend my knees and put my arms like he did.  And he says, "No, not like that.  Put your butt like this."  I looked at him and I said, "You are a man, you don't know anything about how a girl would pee in the woods.  I am squatting exactly how a girl would for the woods."  He looks at me like I just questioned the Drill Sgt.  Maybe that is not allowed?  

The moral of the story?  

Men don't know anything about girls peeing in the woods.

and...I have a long way to go...apparently.

This Year

So I sat Man down the other day...ok, ok, while Man was doing the dishes for me (isn't he a love?) I told him we have so much to do this year we might go crazy.  So we talked it out and here is what I came up with...I guess it is kind of like a New Year's Resolution....yeah...We "resolve" to get this done and still be happily ever after on December 31, 2012  :)

1. Help me lose baby weight...especially by June 2, 2012 when my "bestie" gets married!

2. Get new flooring installed ASAP.  All while he sleeps in the house and my three babes run crazy through the halls.

3. Figure out how to lose love handles that never existed before.

4. Travel to Florida to see where in the world we want to live, where Olivia can go to school, where Addison can go to school, where they can go to dance, how far we will have to throw a rock to hit the ocean, HA...details!

5. Oh my, the Oreos keep staring at me.

6. Plan a fabulous bridal shower for my "bestie" to be thrown in Columbia, SC but planned for from Texas!  Hmmmm?  It's ok, I like a challenge.

7.  Get on the elliptical machine every day from here to June.

8. Put house on the market... while living in it with three kids and a hubby sleeping in it during the day.  Oh yes, this will be fun.  Oh, not to forget the dog.  Hmmm...hadn't thought of that.  Maybe we need to attach the "hunting trailer" to the back and strap the dog on there?  Or maybe that is not legal...wait this is Texas.  There is lots of animal hauling around here.  

9. Finish Start curtains for Allye's room so she knows she is here to stay.  

10.Quit staring back at the Oreos.

11. Celebrate Nate finishing his Master's Degree!!!!  

12.  Travel to North Carolina, by way of Destin, FL, for my "bestie's" wedding.  A car trip, many many days cooped up together, three kids, and a husband.  Hmmm?  God, I promise to live right forever if you will make that a smooth trip.  :)

13.  Buy a new house.  Preferably one that holds all of our "stuff" comfortably.

14.  Pack up our current house and pray it stays within the allowed weight limits.  Maybe I should just start praying the military is kind and forgiving, 'cause we are going over, there is no denying it.

15. TIVO more shows so the elliptical is more enticing.

16.  Convince my girls that it is ok to leave behind their play-set, Daddy really will build another one. Note to self: Provide extravagant pictures of a new set...Daddy needs a challenge in the carpentry area.

17. Love on Daddy lots...'cause this might be the only way to get the above mentioned set.

18.  Invite family to come visit the beach...(have play-set ready to put together when they arrive).

19. MOVE our family of 5 (plus one dog) back across the country.

20. Plan and throw three kid birthday parties within 30 days of each other.

21. Find something to drink that melts away pounds.

22. Take our "bucket list" trip to San Antonio.

23. April- The "in-laws" are coming. 

24. Praise GOD every day that he finally gave us a child that sleeps!  Thank you Lord! 

25. Paint the elliptical pink.  Maybe it will be more appealing that way?

I think that is all for now.  I need to quit typing.  I am pretty sure I feel overwhelmed just seeing all of this and that typing does not result in weight loss.